"I don't need to understand, I just need to hold His hand.
I don't ever need to know the reason why.
For I know He'll make a way, thru the night and thru the day.
I don't need to understand, just hold His hand."
Are there never times for me to flail?
I believe there is nothing wrong with asking.
Nothing wrong with flailing on His chest.
As long as my flailing brings me to His side, resting, holding His hand.
Accepting.
In fact, I believe it is good at times to question. Let me explain.
Recently, I was plagued with tormenting thoughts.
The devil was relentless.
I would experience attack, renounce, be free,
only to have it repeated a short time later.
Finally, I took a walk. I said, "Lord God, why?"
"Why, am I under such attack?" "What am I doing wrong?"
"Is my flesh in some way not crucified, I mean, what is going on?!"
And I flailed.
And Jesus so sweetly met me;
(as He does when we quiet ourselves and listen).
He gave me a special verse that spoke to the idea
of this being a part of His plan for me....
a part of the purifying that He longs to do in each of His daughters.
He brought to my memory recent victories, and then He said,
"It's not about what you're doing wrong, but what you're doing right."
And I pondered that, and I believed.
You see, the enemy is not well pleased when we choose right.
Time after time. And he loses power in our hearts.
And he fights to regain the ground he's lost.
And it gets wearisome.
Could I actually come to a place of seeing it as a good thing?
When it feels so, not good!?
And so when I think of that,
I believe Jesus was inviting me to not question, just trust Him.
I believe that He does want us to search our hearts often.
Asking Him to show us our hearts.Show us our sin. Our unbelief.
But I also believe there are times that I just need to rest.
To enjoy the walk with Him holding my hand.
Jesus be very near to you today....
