Last year, I picked up the book "Calvary Road".
I read the first few chapters. Truth impacted me.
I was overwhelmed and laid the book down.
But, I didn't forget what I had read.
'another's sin, will not cause me misery',
pain, yes, but not misery.
'misery comes from my own sin',
'brokenness before God is the only way to really live',
and more, many more things permeated my journey.
And, I found the 'Calvary Road' to be true.
So, this week as I was crying out to God,
in the midst of pain on grief.
Asking God to please show me my own sin.
I picked up the book again.
I was ready for the chapter The Mote and the Beam.
(Well, I think I may have read it months back, but I started reading there)
And I read things that I have been realizing over the past months.
'it's not so much how we've been hurt, but our choice in
how we respond to that hurt'
He is likening the mote in my brother's eye to how my brother has hurt me,
and he is likening the beam in my eye to how I have reacted to that hurt.
And I remembered how a mote is a splinter, and a beam is,
well, a beam is a beam!
And, I agreed, and thought that is so true.
but, I read on. And this is what the author said,
"But let us not think that a beam needs to be some violent reaction on our part. The first beginning of a resentment is a beam, as is also the first flicker of an unkind thought, or the first suggestion of unloving criticism."
And I wept, and fell on my face, and realized that I
had those flickerings and 'twinges'. And I asked God to heal me.
And I asked God to help me 'truly' forgive.
And I read on.
"Where that is so, (flickers and itty, bitty resentment) it only distorts our vision and we never see our brother as he really is, beloved of God. If we speak to our brother with that in our hearts, it will only provoke him to adopt the same hard attitude to us, for it a law of human relationships that 'with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.'"
Yes, Lord, I see! How do I forgive Lord?
First key is to realize who I am.....
Author and writer, Ann Voskamp says it so well,
"If we only got into the Christ-faith through the door of
forgiveness, how can we claim Christ as our home if we aren’t people who
forgive?
I do want there to be another way —another way, where they pay their
debt of pain. I forget that I haven’t had to pay, me bought with the
blood of God."
So can I be willing to let this to be God's work?
Can I release this person?
Absolutely.....with God alone .
And God is so willing to help me to forgive.
And he heals those flickerings and twinges.
And restores peace....and love. Praise His name!
