The thought of saying good bye to to someone I have come to love deeply,
brings a strange ache/pull/heaviness combination, deep in my chest area.
Right over my heart.
So this morning as I was thinking about the good bye I had to say today,
the tears rolled.
And I realized in the last 4 weeks I've had alot of good byes to say.
My head was right there with all kinds of 'reason' in an attempt
to keep me from feeling what was deep down in my heart.
But I'm thinking,
How OFTEN does my head try to tell me what I should be feeling?
I think of my miscarriage. I felt loss. Keen loss.
Reason would say there are many greater losses.
While that may be true, my question is,
If I compare my loss with someone else's,
will I ever be able to grieve my own properly?
Are there any losses on earth where someone, somewhere didn't have it worse?
Why do we do that?
We hear a sad story, and the first thing we want to say is,
"Well, just be glad...." or
"Oh, that reminds me of...."and then relate a story of greater tragedy.
Why do we do that?
Do we realize we are always minimizing that person's pain when we do that?
Do we realize we are telling that person the pain they're feeling isn't valid?
Do we realize we can't receive healing for our loss if we don't feel the pain?
We can only heal what we feel.
I think of the past few years.
I know that if I had compared my losses to someone else,
I could easily have found someone who had it worse.
But I also know that if I had done that,
I would not be where I am today.
I would be stuck right back there in the hurt.
In the mud. In the defeat. Guaranteed.
And satan wouldn't be as angry as he is today.
I want to share a key with you about grieving/healing.
So 1-allow yourself to feel the pain.
And 2- as you are feeling that pain in its intensity, bring it to Jesus.
Say something like,
"Jesus, today I feel so ______"
"It really hurts when I think about ____"
"I feel like I've missed out on ____"
"Jesus, do you know what it feels like to be ______"
"Jesus, today I bring all of this pain to you."
"I give it to you, and Jesus, I ask you to bring healing to my heart."
3- don't expect the pain to be gone and healing to be immediate.
Keep bringing the pain, keep asking for healing.
Keep believing that He will and He will.
It's sooo His heart. So His will to bring healing to His children.
We as humans tend to run from pain.
We feel pain and quickly, naturally want to surface out of it.
I believe from the bottom of my heart,
that God wants us to feel it so He can heal it.
Is one of the reasons that we quickly minimize another's pain,
because we ourselves have never learned the value of not surfacing out of it?
have never received healing for our own hurts?
The blessing of staying in the pain so Jesus can heal it,
far, far outweighs the brief relief of surfacing out of the pain.
So may we take courage and go the places where God would have us go,
so that He could heal us in the ways He longs to...
May you consciously choose Jesus today...
I have no idea who this post is for, but it's a completely different post than I sat down to write,
so, I trust that this will minister to your heart today. God bless you!
