about how God works His way in our lives.
Knowing that He delights in drawing us closer to Himself.
Knowing that he delights in our being confirmed to his image.
Knowing that He very often sea the hard things in life to accomplish these.
And me, feeling very much like clay in the process.
And it feels messy. And it feels unprofitable.
But all the while....
He's molding, shaping, making me into the vessel He desires to use.
And He alone knows what He has planned for me.
Not my friends, not my family at church, not my mentors, not my husband.
NOT EVEN MYSELF!!
So why, tell me why,
do I kick?
Why do I try to run?
Why do I cringe?
Why do I fight and flail?
Aside from the fact that I am human, I think there lies another reason.
I do not trust Jesus.
I have forgotten that He is good.
That He wants what's good.
That what He allows in my life brings good.
And so I wrestle.
Oh, trust me, in my head I know all of the above.
But in my heart, I fear.
So when I believe in my heart. I can embrace. Believe-with my heart.
How do I come to a place of believing with my heart?
My testimony.....
It's me reaching out to Him,Believing-when it's the hardest.
Trusting-when it's excruciating.
Finding Him faithful.
Repeat...Repeat...
Until His faithfulness is framed of the
'WALL OF FAITH'
in my heart....
And that is what I reference to in the dark.
Does it mean that the dark immediately goes away?
That I don't need to walk through the pain and tears for days/weeks..?
Absolutely not.
But HE IS HERE, and the BELIEVING gives me hope when all feels hopeless...
and I know, that I know, that I know, that HE will come through....again....
It's me learning WHO He is. How He LOVES.
And when I know that in my heart, Fear leaves.
And so does the torment.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear:
because fear hath torment.
He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18
What is His heart for me?
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11\
One thing I've also noticed and that is this.
Pain, hard times and struggle does not automatically produce vessels.
Rather, it's in those times....
WHEN I TURN MY FACE TO JESUS.
Asking not questions like 'why me?'
But redemptive questions like,
Jesus, what do you want to teach me?
Who do you want me to become?
Even just whispering His name.beckoning Him into the dark with me.
"Jesus". (softly spoken, oft drench with hesitant trust.)
Reaching out. Up. Inviting Him to mold me.
Allowing Him to use me in the way He chooses.
Vessel for His purpose. To His glory.
Knowing that the molding will be completed only on the day I die.
And then, forever with the Master Potter.
How absolutely enchanting!
May Jesus wrap you in His love today....
